THE PENIS WANTS A RAISE
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons. I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge
head first into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public
holidays off. I work in a damp environment. I work in a dark
workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
THE RESPONSE:
Dear Penis, After assessing your request, andconsidering the
arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your
request for the following reasons: You do not work 8 straight hours.
You fall asleep after brief work periods. You do not always follow
orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated
area and are often seen visiting other locations. You do not take
initiative. You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to
start working. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of
your shift. You don't always observe necessary safety requirements,
such as wearing the correct protective clothing. You will retire
well before you are 65. You are unable to work double shifts. You
sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed
the assigned task. And if that were NOT ALL, you have been seen
constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious
looking bags.
Sincerely, The Management
